Monday night. It's late, I'm tired... still adjusting to daylight savings time perhaps... I made it to the gym again, just got done wishing my mother a happy birthday... and... yeah, still need to do my blog.
Giving myself this assignment to write in here every day this year can be a bit of a bother sometimes... even more so when there's something I have been meaning to say, and now might be the last appropriate time to write about it. Ughhh.... well here goes... I'm not an expert commentator on politics, but I have been thinking about family and self-sufficiency lately, so let me see what I can do...
Last August Sarah and I were heading back from our annual camping trip with some of my longtime high school buddies. It was a relaxing weekend for the most part getting away from it all, but on the way back we noticed a Wegmans supermarket(!) and had to stop. We got some food and caught up on the latest news...
Mitt Romney had just announced his running mate, Congressman Paul Ryan, and The New York Times was examining the "Conservative Star's Small-Town Roots." However, it was the subhead for that August 13 story that really caught my attention: "Ryan's Self-Reliant Worldview Shaped by Father's Death." I read further to discover that Mr. Ryan, who was born the same year as me, also lost his father at the exact same, early age.
I was just 16 when I lost my father, and I sympathize with anyone who has to go through the ordeal of losing a loved one unexpectedly, especially when they are just a kid. I remember my well-meaning grandmother telling me that I was the "man of the family" now... but what did that mean? For a teenager still trying to overcome common insecurities of that age, it was a tough act to follow...
The article talked about how Ryan went to work at McDonald's, began to pull his own weight, and became class president the same year. I can relate to some of that idea of not wanting grief to overtake you... my last two years of high school, I decided to snap to as well: I continued working at my part-time job (at Wegmans), joined the yearbook as art editor, began acting in school plays, became actively involved with mission work with my church, and made some strong, new friendships that last to this day (and hopefully many more camping trips).
Ryan could have been my classmate, and I'm sure there would be a shared sympathy for each other's life experience. The article describes his self-reliance, continuing as a summer camp counselor (adept at hunting and fishing) and then into college, where he took an interest in conservative economic theorists and writers, including Ayn Rand. I certainly didn't have my mind in economics, but considering my religious background, I know I would not have found much appeal in Rand's ideas of ethical egoism.
This was the era of Ronald Reagan though, and I had a friend who was quite "gung-ho" on The Gipper and his "trickle down" economics. I think it was the communicative style that was the most impressive, hiding some of the less attractive elements of the President's conservatism... that caught my eye as well, but what did I know about politics back then...
In contrast, I can't say I felt all that self-reliant... about midway through my first year of art school, I was hitting hard on the grief. I think it was a combination of things, but I was definitely feeling depressed and finding it difficult to motivate myself to create... I decided to change course and focus more intently on communications. There was still a form of creating there, but the idea of the arts was getting a little muddied to me. Thankfully, my friends and family were a great support during this time.
Part of becoming a man is accepting the responsibility of your right to vote. I actually first registered as Republican, impressed by Reagan, the smooth talking, former actor.... but the more I learned about politics, the more I began to detest the self-centered approach of conservatism when it came to caring for the haves and the have nots. Trying to dictate other's religious beliefs, especially related to decisions about one's body, is another thing... I'm proud to say that I have always voted Democrat or Independent in every election since I have been eligible to vote. I support the advancement of social causes, education, the environment, the arts... and a more conscientious approach. Working hard should be rewarded, but not at the expense of others.
I found it funny when one of Paul Ryan's favorite music acts, Rage Against The Machine, said that he was "the machine that they were raging against." Since his time in Congress, he has become the darling of the Tea Party for his far-right views. He seems like an earnest guy, but he's earnest about the wrong things... and while we don't know which Mitt Romney we would get as President (moderate, highly conservative, or international bully), we know what we would be getting with Ryan. The odd thing is that the latter is probably being more truthful about who he is... Romney just seems to say whatever he can to get elected... I don't understand why he is running, except for the power that would come with the position... his term as Massachusetts State Governor seemed only to be a fast grab for the presidency.... his low favorability in the state is telling, and articles that describe his very ruthless private equity firm, Bain Capital, make me less sure how this man can claim he has the right idea for creating jobs? I read this summer's Rolling Stone article about the way the firm left company after company bankrupt, while they reaped huge profits, and it seems morally reprehensible for a man whose faith supposedly plays a big part of who he is... I witnessed the shuttering of KB Toys plants in Pittsfield, and it wasn't a pretty sight... something unfathomable and sinister. It's telling that the least awkward speech I have heard him give was during that private dinner, where he referred to 47% of the country as "victims"... that was the real Mitt Romney, I'm fairly certain.
A self-reliant approach is not a bad thing... yes, working hard and looking out for yourself are essential requrements to succeed... your family and friends are only going to help you so far... but some of us were not born with a silver spoon, or have rich friends to suck up to for the material things... some of us, in fact, can't stomach such an idea. For us, self-reliance can go hand-in-hand with being a good citizen... looking out for others as well, and finding ways to help... to be charitable.
Despite his distortion of facts, narrow-minded support of anti-abortion bills, and dubious plans for the budget and Medicaid, I still have some sympathy for Paul Ryan... I hope he can someday see the error of his ways... and maybe we'll have a place for him... just not in the White House. Tomorrow I will add my vote against that machine.
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