Laughing...Until It Hurts

Learning about Robin William's death yesterday was unnerving... to say the least. I was already feeling down, trying to figure out an ongoing challenge at work, and here was news that this actor/comedian, who seemed to have the best job and opportunities, had taken his own life. They say that laughter is the best medicine, so how to reconcile the fact that this comedic genius, who brought a smile to so many faces over the years, had been suffering? 

Good Night, Robin:
Promo photo from Touchstone Pictures'
"Good Morning, Vietnam," 1987

Of course I knew about Williams' past troubles with substance abuse; I am familiar with the darker demons that many artistic individuals struggle with. It's just one of those moments that makes you think about the bigger picture—echoing words from A.O. Scott's appraisal in today's New York Times, Williams was one of those gifted entertainers "we sometimes took for granted or allowed ourselves to tire of."  Someone who, regrettably, we always thought we'd have around.

I feel like I grew up right alongside Robin Williams' career. I remember his debut as the alien Mork (from Ork), first on Happy Days and then in the series Mork & Mindy. It was hard to ignore his manic energy... his zany, "all things go" style. His comedy specials made us think he was "fearless."

Later, it was interesting to see this intensity displayed on the big screen—in both successful comedic and dramatic roles. Some of my favorites include Good Morning, Vietnam (1987); Awakenings (1990); Aladdin (1992); Good Will Hunting (1997); the remarkable One Hour Photo (2002); and, of course, Dead Poet's Society (1989), where he playing the unconventional teacher, standing on his desk, inspiring his students to "seize the day."

Photo courtesy Ellen Mazzer. Los Angeles, CA, August 2014.

Sometimes he could be a bit much, but you can't say he never "went for it" as a performer (even in media interviews). Having done my own share of improvisational acting, I admired and recognized his rare talent—I don't recall watching any of his performances thinking, oh that's Robin WIlliams the comedian doing "Teddy Roosevelt" or a doctor, or what have you. He was a comforting presence on the screen (almost like a family friend), and still delivering the goods after all these years. It's heartbreaking to think that there will be no more.


On a human level, it's hard to hear about another individual who battled and lost out to depression. For the sensitive soul, it can seem especially challenging to find people to relate to and ask for support... if you are reading this and feel that way, I urge you to reach out anyway... to friends, family, acquaintances, or professionals. Life is hard, and I have felt that darkness... we all have at one time or another.

Related Links:

"Robin Williams, an Improvisational Genius, Forever Present in the Moment," New York Times, August 11, 2014

"Remembering Robin Williams," WTF with Marc Maron Podcast, August 11, 2014

U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK