You're Mine Now, But You're Not...

It's been another exhausting week... but as I drove into work, I heard this long forgotten song on the radio, and it sure did give me a kick!




Once again, the power of music−this one takes me back to late high school... memories of skateboarding, alternative music, and a growing fascination for California (I had just visited the West Coast for the first time with my family, and fell in love with the "exotic" land of palm trees and surf). Oingo Boingo was one of those bands that just fit my tastes perfectly at the time: quirky, offbeat, and leaning towards the theatrical/scary (I was a big monster fan as a kid). They made music perfectly tailored for Halloween, but also some sparkling pop songs as well... including this one: 1987's "Not My Slave" was an infectious, endearing look at maintaining a healthy relationship, backed up by a great chorus. The band was huge on the West Coast, but never quite caught on beyond sort of a cult status nationally... maybe they were just a little too quirky. Of course lead singer Danny Elfman would go on to become a hugely successful scorer of motion picture soundtracks, including Batman and Edward Scissorhands. It's interesting to see how an artist can fall into a parallel line of work that might better share their talents... but I still have fond memories of Boingo's energy, and these lines:


"You're missing the whole point, you're not my little pet
Don't throw away your life, the game's not over yet
I do not own your soul, don't want you in a cage
I only want your heart to find a special place..."

Slave to fashion, for sure. Photo by SK for JC.
All rights reserved.

In a way these lyrics became relevant to me again later in the day, as Sarah and I spoke with my friend Tom on the phone for our first pre-marriage counseling session. Separately, we had both filled out an online relationship assessment called Prepare & Enrich, and after tabulating the responses, Tom (one of our co-officiants) would discuss the results. I found it both healthy and revealing, pinpointing some of our strengths as a couple, and areas that could use some work. Overall, it seems to encourage listening and assertiveness, which will be good for both of us in different ways. 


So the wedding planning continues−I also looked at tuxes and photographers today, and we have some other things lined up for this weekend. Above all, I think I could use some more down time with Sarah... to recharge, renew, revisit some new wave love songs...